Religious experiences of my soul in the Holy Eucharist

"Jesus loves hidden souls. 

A hidden flower is the most fragrant." 

-Saint Faustina (Diary, 275) 

Allow me to obscure myself in this blog to follow the example of the Blessed Virgin Mary shown through a dream.

Yes, Heaven lets me see things through dreams and visions.

I have, in fact, received prophetic dreams -- for the city of my birth; the diocese where this city belongs; the country where the diocese is a part of; and the world. 

One is that dream I had of the Blessed Virgin Mary giving me Holy Communion on the tongue on September 8 in mid-nineties.

And ten years after the dream, a religious experience happened to me during Holy Communion on the vigil mass of the birthday of the Blessed Virgin Mary in 2006.

This experience was being witnessed by some present in that mass -- especially, the lay Eucharistic minister from whom I received Communion and fellow communicants.

That was my first of a series of Eucharistic ecstasies that I had experienced.

I cannot talk to anyone about those experiences simply because, by a dream, I saw myself blogging my "spiritual experiences" for everyone to read.

After the miracle experience, it has been natural for me to show reverence to the succeeding Holy Masses that I have attended.

For the experience has taught me the reality of the True Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist.

But I never knew the proper way of Eucharistic reverence as God wants it to be done.

So, I did it my own way.

In my research on the web, I came to know about "These Last Days Ministries" or the Bayside Apparitions at http://www.tldm.org.

From there, I happened to know that two of the visions I received were also received way before by the seer of the Bayside, Veronica Lueken.

Because of this, I came to a realization that she and I are of the same mission.

Or, the mission entrusted to me is an offshoot to the mission that Heaven entrusted to the Bayside seer. Other offshoots are at work in different parts of the world.

As dictated by Heaven, "These Last Days Ministries" is an advocate to the re-institution of Traditional Latin Mass to the Roman Catholic Church.

Thus, I began to try to behave in all my Eucharistic attendance as one should behave in the celebration of the Traditional Latin Mass: namely, kneeling while receiving Communion on the tongue from the hand of a duly-ordained Catholic priest.

Apology

Please, God, forgive me for complaining, whining and talking deliriously before You. You know what You are. You are Good. Everything adversarial and negative You allow in my life is for my own advantage which leads me later to a "spiritual awakening" -- the "flowering of a cactus" -- the "turning of a desert into garden" -- "beauty for ashes." I talked aimlessly, without knowledge, and ruled only by my emotional self. You know what You are doing. I resume living this life with trust in Your Goodness and Mercy.

Desert Four: Trust amidst desert

'No man is an island' -- but I am an island: am I no man? 

Not only an island -- but an island of desert: am I cursed? 

Or: has Heaven a Hand on this experience? 

Ah, a flicker of understanding now I see: It is You, O God, Who author this experience of my soul! 

But my mind is yet clouded as to grasp the Divine Reason behind all this. 

In time, I know, will I fully understand. 

I trust 

.

Desert Three: Sighs in the desert

God, You are an all-knowing God. You know that I am already so tired of waiting, so exhausted of giving. Until when are You going to keep me in wait, to stop the test? Yet, You have promised, Lord; You have promised; fulfill Your promises now -- please? But who can question Your Wisdom? Who can say You're wrong? But I am human. I am already extracted. No more tears left. I am as dry as a desert. No one else is here. I am all alone. It seems hard to get up. I thirst. And the air I breathe is heat. Yet my lungs cannot help but accept it. Sighs! -- sighs! -- sighs! -- are all I hear. I want to leave -- I need to. Where should I go? -- but, You alone are God.

Desert Two: I, becoming a desert isle

No, I cannot be who I am not. I stand by what I already said. Let me say it again -- now, with tears! -- I NEED A FRIEND. Find a friend in God? But I am not divine: only the soul is. Yet, part of me is body. I am a soul within a human body. Love Divine must be personified. That Love is personified in Jesus, you say. And I agree. But why is He hiding Himself from me? Treating me an enemy? Promising me without end? And promises are still promises to this day -- I am not seeing the fulfillment. God, I am lonely -- without friends, without You! I am an isle in the midst of an ocean of its deepest blue. The loneliness in the human me is worsened by the loneliness I have in my soul. An isle of desert, I am becoming! Does anyone see how lonely I have been? Can anyone understand? Words cannot comfort me -- but letting me speak out the depth of the loneliness of my entirety: body and soul!

Mother of the Eucharist

Behold, a Vision visited me again: a Blessed Mother giving me Holy Communion on the tongue! And, lo, all the scenery was in white and green; in the middle of a forest, the Mother and myself were standing;  it seemed to me a forest in the middle of the city I was born. She was young and slim; and Her Face was white and serene. Her veil and clothes were of ashen-green; and it looked to me as worn by a nun in hiding. Trees surrounded the two of us; and by Her left stood an old, huge tree whose trunk and branches were covered with moss. So, too, the slope that was almost like a plain She and I were standing on. And the leaves of the trees were dripping with rain. A step higher, She stood facing uphill; I stood facing downhill. And, lo, She was holding a White Host above a Chalice to Her Breast -- in front of me.  She  was tight-lipped and placed the Host on my tongue! And I woke up. Behold, that day was the day of eight of the ninth month -- Her birthday.

Desert One: A complaining Job

Please, God, I beg You to treat me not as though dead. A corpse that cannot react to any stimulus. Though limited is my knowledge, I know I have had enough. "You have suffered long enough," You said, not once but thrice or more. And yet, I'm still suffering. Please do give me a lift -- if burdened is what You see in me. I am under a curse; in fact, piles of curses have afflicted me because of my ancestral sins. To the best I could, I have done whatever You say would release me from bondage. But I am still in bondage. Is this how great the curse is being handed down to me by my ancestors? I should have been freed by now, even from a curse or two! Or, is it You Who choose not to give me this freedom? Am I Your toy? Yes, You can do with me as You please. But -- please, God -- I ain't saintly as Therese of the Child was. She who gave herself entirely to You as Toy. I, too, am Your toy -- but a complaining toy as Job.

Trees, people and SSPX

Trees are people; people are trees. Whatever we do to the trees, we do to the people. Take care of trees, we take care of people. Kill the trees, and we kill the people. Were not recent flash floods in southern Philippines by tropical storm "Sendong" (international name "Washi") killing more than a thousand people effects of denuded forests in its mountains? Go back to nature. Go back to the basics of life. Go back to the basic principles of faith. Yes, we, in this part of the region, are now on the way back to the Holy Catholic Traditional Tridentine Latin Mass; but time is of the essence. Cataclysms may overtake and catch us off-guard by further delays. The "home trees" of the only "firefly in the city," the Society of St. Pius X, a religious community that celebrates the Latin Mass "of our ancestors" as a way of life, are being worked out to be padlocked. Pope Benedict XVI is offering reconciliation with this group. Why can't we? SSPX is of great help to our diocese. Fireflies abound where trees are found; and trees are people who desire return to the simplicity of  life of faith.

Firefly foresees destruction of home trees

Fireflies live in farmlands, marshes and the woods where trees abound. They are tree-dwelling creatures so that the sight of a tree with fireflies at night looks like a natural Christmas tree! They are never city occupants as cities cut down trees in favor of development. And when you do see one in the city, it means the city you live in is still tree-friendly. But, a personal firefly experience in the vicinity of a local state university was a prelude to the coming destruction of trees in the area where the biggest-so-far local sports and cultural arena would arise. And, even before the destruction happened, the firefly already had a foreboding of what was to come so that it came out in the open and hovered over the nearby road that night looking for somebody to help save the trees.

A firefly in the city

A woods-indwelling in city wand'ring, a dew fallen on dry earth! I was in the internet cafe one midnight blogging; I was on my way home one o'clock w-a-l-k-i-n-g. And, as I turned left to a lonely road lined with trees on the side, suddenly, out of nowhere, a solitary, black, round, flying torch-bearer came down upon me. It was looking for a spot in me where to step on. I raised my left hand slowly, open, offering. It landed on the tip of my mid-finger. Wings fluttering. Itself strutting, jumping. And lamp twinkling, touching my skin. Like it was happy to see me, to meet me, to feel me -- again (!). I was happy -- no, it was a joy! -- to meet a firefly in the city. It was an experience of the spirit. Of the soul. Of an angel. Godly. It flew away then and I w-a-l-k-e-d on, and I looked back. Where'll the firefly go? Will it go back to the woods of my memory?