Thursday, July 02, 2009

A dream, a diary and a cook

I had a dream a month before year 2009 began. I never realized but the dream started to happen right after.

This was my dream.
I saw a hill and I was standing on the foot of the hill. On top of the hill was a big tourist platform. The structure looked like eyes and face of a man drooping its head to look down on me and those below. I felt it was unsafe for any tourist to go there and take a look. It was architecturally incorrect to build a structure like it, and I sensed it was going to collapse any minute. And sure, it did -- bit by bit. As it started to fall, I vacated the place immediately -- but I realized I had a companion, an old woman, my grandma! I returned. I was trying to rescue her in such a way that my body was first out of the danger area. But I was wondering, "Why am I trying to rescue grandma when she's dead long ago?"
I remember my diary entry of January 17, 2009, it reads and I quote:
"There is someone in the market who is getting on my nerves. He is a cook at an eatery next to where I buy snack food on credit. When he looks at me taking food there, his eyes are insulting, looking down on me. One time, he even banged the door in my presence! They know I have my food for credit. I thought, he owns the eatery because of his arrogance. He is not! He works as a cook. He has a companion who treats me the same way. When I was able to pay recently, they were like kittens, looking at me so meekly. But they know I am on credit again. They are back to 'normal.' Last night, I was tempted to display some arrogance. I tried to show off in a subtle way the envelope I had that reads CHECK ENCLOSED. The envelope was from prophet Don; and it was a "faith check" for Php100,000. I prayed and included him and the woman companion in the Mass I attended this morning. When I saw him, however, in the market, I was enraged again and intended to side-sweep him. I touched him lightly in so doing though. I must shoot him with many prayers and masses. Jesus, forgive and help me. I must stop going there to prevent myself from sinning."
I admit, however, I did go back there after some time -- exclusively, to get food on credit. The cook was there. He was on my path. He never gave way. I side-pushed him and I did it intentionally. There was also a force coming from him. It was like a head-on collision. I know both of us were hurt in the process. But none complained. He went his way. I went my way. I decided never to go there again. I confessed the sin a month ago to a priest.

Last night, I had a monthly confession during a Holy Mass. I feel so heavenly after each confession. I went back to my seat so recollected and silently happy. During peace, I did a reverent peace to a familiar face, to someone standing in front of me left side. The cook!!! Yes, the cook!!! It was unexpected. I never knew he was there. He never knew I was there as well. That sealed it all. We had peace together. My name is J-O-Y! :-)