First Eucharistic experience

 

The first of the Eucharistic ecstasies that I experienced happened at the back chapel of the Redemptorist Church in Bajada during a 6:00PM Mass on September 7, 2006.

The Eucharistic experience was preceded by a prophetic dream that I had at dawn of September 8, (probably) 2000.

Here is the link to the vision I saw in my dream:

http://eyeof1001.blogspot.com/2012/02/mother-of-eucharist.html

In my recollection, I happened to attend Mass at Redemptorist church because it was opportune time I had to deliver tamarind candies for consignment to the canteen of the then Davao Medical Center and the nearest church where I could attend Mass from the DMC canteen was the Redemptorist church.

The woman in-charge of the canteen fully paid me for the previous deliveries but told me they would have to stop accepting deliveries. That was hurting because the tamarind candies I prepared courtesy of my mom's recipe and delivered were saleable in the canteen and I couldn't get the notion to abruptly stop the succeeding deliveries. Because the tamarind candies were saleable and lucrative, a woman in-charge of the canteen I realized was lured to prepare the candies herself instead of accepting deliveries from me. In spite of feeling down, I was hopeful God would give me other source of income. So I came to the Mass hopeful.

Before the Mass began, a priest was hearing confessions in the back chapel of the church. A woman who finished confiding her sins to the priest was like having a fresh start but when the Mass began, a part of her human self emerged. It was in the part of the Mass when the attenders recited the Penitential Act, acknowledging our sins when attenders who have until now invented a gesture to face each other during the part we mention the "And to you, my brothers and sisters that I have greatly sinned..." and again "And you, my brothers and sisters to pray for me to the Lord..." I haven't been doing the gesture in every Mass I have attended and the woman seemed offended by it so that when the offering for peace, she never turned to me as I turned to her. (I was aware of my surroundings during the whole proceedings.)

During the start of the Mass, I already felt the Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in the chapel. I could feel He was standing in a certain corner of the chapel but I didn't know exactly what corner He was standing on. It felt like He was not in the center of that church. (I realize at this moment of writing the Tabernacle was not in the center of the chapel or of that church and the Tabernacle was placed BEHIND the main church or at the BACK chapel and in the CORNER and not in the center of the back chapel!) I also had the feeling in this manner: it was like there was a dial controlling how I felt of His Presence. There was a time the dial or volume of like a transistor radio was turned high and I felt like I was drawn to where He was standing, looking for Him. It was like I was looking for Him but my feet stood ground. Acting strangely, my face or head was the only part of me looking for Him so that I was turning my head sideways several times. When the dial or volume was turned high, my heart was wild for Him. When the dial or volume was turned low, I was at peace. Although I was attuned to His Presence, I was also aware of my surroundings. I knew those near me already noticed I was acting strangely. But the strange act was controlled because my feet were glued to where I was standing. It was my head or face that was moving to look for that Presence. My heart was panting for His Presence at that moment but that moment was short and then the dial was turned low and I was like behaving already. My heart was at peace but aware of His Presence.

After the Consecration and it was time for Holy Communion, I queued up to take Holy Communion in the line leading to a certain lay minister. In my recollection, there were two lines leading to the same lay minister for Holy Communion: the line in the aisle and the line in the side (left of the altar or right side of those facing the altar). I decided to line up in the left side of the altar (or right side of those facing the altar). As I was lining up in the queue, I realized those of us lining in that queue would be partly facing the attenders sitting in the pews. This thought made me decide to transfer to the line in the aisle to avoid side-facing the people in the pews (introvert that I was). As I was lining in the aisle, I had the practice of bowing when I was already next to the person receiving Holy Communion. And when I brought myself up, the atmosphere changed. I felt a sudden surge of joy, realizing the Presence was just right there I was lining up to. I remember the last paragraph that I read that day on the diary of St. Faustina, I was smiling for the Presence in the ciborium held by the lay minister. I didn't see the Hosts because of the rim of the ciborium (or the ciborium was slightly filled of Hosts) but I knew behind that rim was the Host for me! And the hand of the lay minister picked a Host behind the rim I was so glued at. I was glued and lost to it I never knew how many seconds or minutes and then I was back to myself or to a realization I was looking intently on the ciborium (or to the hidden Host behind the rim of the ciborium). I knew and saw by faith the Host for me was just behind the front rim of the ciborium. From the front rim, the lay minister slid the Host to pick It up. My world at that moment was the Host and the lay minister picked it up by sliding the Host towards the front rim and raised It with his hand above me. I felt a Force was controlling me because had the Force let go of me, I would raise my head to get a full view of the raised Host but it was only my eyeballs that I could roll up to get a glimpse of the raised Host in front of me. And when I did have a glimpse of the Host, I lowered my shoulder so that I was still looking up but I was no longer looking at the Host. I knew the Host was up there in front of me. And then inside my ears I heard something was opening up and it seemed to me, my ears were close to the vocal chords of the lay minister because I heard his voice in a very modulated voice that I had ever heard in my life, as he pronounced the words, "The Body of Christ." On hearing it, to the best of my ability, I responded "Amen" imitating the voice in modulation.

I have to emphasize that I was not seeing the people in my view of the Host: the people and the lay minister were like black shadows so I could not take a look at them -- but only the Host! There was a time I was like only facing a lighted wall or my eyes were covered with a lighted white veil or linen while I was waiting for the pronouncement of the words "The Body of Christ" and the Blessed Host to be placed on my left, open palm.

When the lay minister placed the Host on my left palm, I slightly noticed my left, open palm was already positioned below my chin and the fingers were extended from each other, not the usual normal open palm with fingers closed to each other. As soon as the Host was placed on my palm, my index finger and thumb immediately picked the Host and placed the Host on my tongue.

As soon as I placed the Host on my tongue, my left palm was still in the same position as I turned my back from the lay minister and I stopped from leaving the line as if waiting for the man now in front of me to do something. The man moved away from the line to give way for me. Only then did I take a step to return to my kneeler. As soon as I took a step to return to my kneeler, I was already back to my normal self. The sense of the Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ ceased.

I felt the whole experience was dreamlike. Like I was having a dream.

However, when I was back to my kneeler, consuming the Host, a young man seated in the pew front of me turned to me in my kneeling position and cried and sobbed looking at me. Only then did I conclude I was having a Eucharistic experience or ecstasy that was seen and witnessed by some people.

Immediately, I went out of the chapel after the Mass and headed to Gaisano Citimall in Ilustre. I treated myself for some snack for the setback I experienced at DMC canteen. I felt so light and joyful because of the Eucharistic experience. There was a man I noticed in the food court -- a secondary schoolmate also having food and drinks in the place with his family. He noticed me and I noticed him also. By the way he looked at me and smiling, I knew he also recognized me as a batch in high school. We were not friends in high school; we just knew we were batch mates. He was on crutches already and seemed ashamed of his physical situation. His disability didn't matter to me (in fact, I was empathetic) because I was joyful to the Eucharistic experience I just had. Probably, he smiled and was drawn to me because he sensed the joy that emanated from within me.