Theft in the sidewalk

My pocket "point-and-shoot" camera and a pair of slippers were stolen! In the tiredness of my body for incessant walking Friday last week, I stopped in Claveria to take a rest in the sidewalk before I could go on to a government hospital to sleep in its compound where it is safe; but I found out later at dawn, I slept the whole night in Claveria and was a victim of theft. In my life as homeless in the vicinity of the hospital, I have met a nine-year-old boy who is fond of collecting cartons, plastic bottles and cans and his young mother who likes to put on make-up at night. They sleep at daytime at DMC hospital and are busy at night in Claveria: the boy, a beggar; the mother, a prosti. Not all seen about the hospital building have patients; a few are homeless persons trying to take shelter in and to say they have patients is to save them from the shame of being known of having no homes. But a homeless can detect one who is also homeless. And when they come to know other homeless individuals, they are happy they are not alone. My friendship with the boy began in the steel swing where I frequent myself every morning and ask him to join me in the swinging. This connection transitioned gradually into like a deeper friendship as truth of our existence gradually emerges as well. I had the chance to ask him why he likes me: "Kay gusto man kog amigo." (Because I need a friend.) Why me? "Kay wala man kay balay." (Because you are homeless.) At first, he said they have a patient admitted in the hospital; but later, I had doubts because his conversations were different every time I asked him about the patient. My feeling was supported as true when, one evening on my way to downtown, I caught him in the sidewalk in Claveria with his blanket on ready to sleep. When I revealed I too am homeless, he is connected to me like my own shadow, asking me to go to Claveria every night where he begs and sleeps. Friday last week, on my way back to the hospital walking from downtown via Claveria, somebody was following me and calling my attention: the boy! I was already very tired of incessant walking all day because earlier I went to the feast of San Francisco de Asis in Tagakpan. I promised him I would bring them "lechon." But something went wrong. I returned the rice and lechon I "sacked" for the boy and his mom. I never ate my share in the feast to be able to "sack" my share for the boy and his mom. But a man from the church rebuked me upon exiting: "Welcome mo diri para mamiyesta pero sa sunod ayaw mo pag-sacking og pagkaon para makakaon ang uban." (You are welcome here to feast but do not sack food next time so other visitors can eat as well.)  I returned the food. And I had to go to the nearby Pantatan (Catfish) Festival in Tugbok where everyone could have a share of one grilled catfish and rice. I was happy to have something to give to the boy and the woman for dinner because they eat only once a day. I rested in the sidewalk with the boy that Friday night but was able to sleep the whole night unknowingly while his mom was on her particular trade that evening. It does not matter if my camera and slippers were stolen; what matters is the friendship that I have found in the person of this youth.

The transformation of a bough

In your sleep, you had a dream; a dream which you dreamed many times.

You dreamed the same dream, for the message of the dream, you had not taken hold of as yet.

"Tell me your dream and God will tell you the meaning of your dream."

You saw a bough on the ground. The bough turned into a live serpent which came up slithering around your body. It, then, turned into a kelp.

Silence. The head is emptied. Only the heartbeat is heard. Silence. And the Lord spoke in the spirit.

The "bough" is a good person in your life who is to turn against you (symbolized by a serpent). But, take heart; and never cut loose from this relationship. In the end, this person will return to the self you used to know of, will become gentle and will cease being antagonistic towards you (symbolism of a kelp).

Your spirit, then, is ushered into understanding: "I have a friend who is infatuated with a guy whom she thinks is interested in me and I am interested in as well."

She will eventually know the real score. This realization will lead her from a serpent to a kelp transformation.

Be patient.

(To a young lady-neighbor)

Ode to Tonette

Beautiful, indeed, it is that we discover each other in this journey called life. And the discovery that has taken place between us is divinely ordained. It is a connection between our two souls. It is the Spirit that is alive between us -- the Spirit of God -- that connects us to each other. We are both inspired with each other because we are of the same spirit. We will still be friends even in the beyond.

Michael Jackson, Ben and me

It was probably three days before the end of the singer.

BEN, THE TWO OF US NEED LOOK NO MORE
WE BOTH FOUND WHAT WE WERE LOOKING FOR

It was night, I was walking by the street, and I heard the song on the radio.

WITH A FRIEND TO CALL MY OWN
I'LL NEVER BE ALONE

I did not know the exact lyrics of the song but it seemed to have a bond in my soul.

AND YOU MY FRIEND WILL SEE
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME

It seemed to be speaking about me. It seemed to be I am he.

BEN, YOU'RE ALWAYS RUNNING HERE AND THERE

But I am not running, I am walking "here and there" -- and everywhere.

YOU FEEL YOU'RE NOT WANTED ANYWHERE

God knows it is the longing of the deepest of me to find a friend who likes and loves me as I am.

IF YOU EVER LOOK BEHIND
AND DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU FIND

Yes, many like me because of my "innocence" and "meekness."

THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW
YOU'VE GOT A PLACE TO GO

But when this "many" know about the "secret," it is better they have not ever liked me before.

I USED TO SAY "I" AND "ME"
NOW IT'S "US," NOW IT'S "WE"

It is better they leave me alone because, in the end, I will always be alone.

BEN, MOST PEOPLE WOULD TURN YOU AWAY
I DON'T LISTEN TO A WORD THEY SAY

I understand why Michael changed color -- the change of the face.

THEY DON'T SEE YOU AS I DO
I WISH THEY WOULD TRY TO.

It was but to be liked and to be loved.

I'M SURE THEY'D THINK AGAIN
IF THEY HAD A FRIEND LIKE BEN

But, Michael, no matter what we do, people will never ever like the thing that is inside of us.

LIKE BEN

But when I hear the song, I feel it was not you who sang it for me: but Someone -- Who loves every bit of us -- and Who can change everything for us.

LIKE BEN

And, as I remembered you in the past, I can only pray for your soul to meet Him there.